This summer I worked at a daycare. This means that I spent most of my days surrounded by tiny humans, making sure that no one stuck mulch up his nose. My cuties, no matter how much I love them, were ornery and needed constant reminders to keep on their best behaviors. I found myself repeating the same phrases each day. I said these words so much that they began to exist in my everyday discourse (“that’s naughty” annoys even me now).
Once I began truly listening to the words I was saying, I started to think that this world would be a better place if adults heard these reminders, too.
Miss KT’s Rules:
1. Wash Your Hands
Kids are sticky and germy and if we didn’t wash their hands multiple times throughout the day our room, my shirt, and everything else a toddler could grab would be a hot mess.
To most adults, this seems like common sense, but you’d be surprised how many times I’ve watched adults leave public restrooms without washing their hands. As I tell my kids, “That’s yucky!” In case you forgot, people carry germs. Germs make us sick. Personally, I think being sick is a miserable experience. So, please keep your germs to yourself by washing your hands.
2. Use Your Manners
“Say please” and “say thank you” are phrases I wish I could say to adults as frequently as I say them to my kids. As adults, we feel super entitled to everything—especially when we’re being served at restaurants or grocery stores. We make demands instead of asking nicely. We take each other and each other’s services for granted. Being polite shows kindness and appreciation to those who positively impact out lives. Be conscientious! Show others respect by using your manners.
3. Clean Up Your Messes
Kids love to play with toys, but they really don’t enjoy putting them away. Apparently, neither do adults (shout out to my former roommates! Hello! Do your dishes!). But, no matter how much we hate taking the time to fold our laundry or clean up after making supper, we have to. Because nobody wants ants crawling around on their kitchen floor.
Just like our kids need to clean up their literal messes, we also need to take responsibility for our actions and clean up the figurative messes we create. We all make mistakes. We say and do things we shouldn’t. We have misunderstandings, and we hurt other people. When this chaos ensues, it’s our responsibility to pick up the pieces. We have to start cleaning up the messes we make—whether it’s made from dishes or words.
4. No Hitting
…or biting or kicking or slapping or throwing toys…
No violence. It’s not nice. It hurts other people. No “owies.” Stop using physical violence to ‘solve’ confrontation. My two-year-olds hit because they cannot communicate their anxieties or angers. As adults, we should be able to keep our hands to ourselves and follow rule number five.
5. Use Your Words
Mostly, this phrase is used to encourage my toddlers to expand their vocabularies. It also applies when I can’t understand their frustrated grunts and points. At all stages of development, communication is a vital skill. We have to be willing to talk to others. We need to have the patience to express our needs and feelings in a rational manner. Use your words. Not the silent treatment and most definitely not your fists.
6. No Screaming
Have you ever been in a classroom full of screaming toddlers? It’s loud. Like, rupture your eardrums loud. It’s a terrible awful that must be avoided at all costs because once one child screams, every other child in the general vicinity feels the need to scream back.
Adults are the exact same way. Once one person yells, other people feel the need to yell over him, fighting to be heard. Does this ever work? No. It only creates a mess. There’s never a positive result. Everyone gets so busy yelling that they don’t hear anyone else. Nothing is resolved and everyone leaves angry and hoarse. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we took deep breathes and agreed, disagreed, and compromised rationally? Think of how many relationships we could save if we simply didn’t scream.
7. No Stealing Toys
I think I said this every five minutes because children are grabby and they prioritize their own immediate desires over the needs of others. However, I think I’ve told my 17-year-old brother, “Don’t steal my phone charger without asking,” at least twice as many times.
Don’t take what doesn’t belong to you. Her cash? Not yours. His answers? Not yours. Her body? Not yours. You are not entitled to everything on this planet. You need to ask—and be told “yes”—before you touch.
8. Use Your Listening Ears
It’s amazing how early we learn selective hearing. We need to listen to each other. For my little classroom cuties, it’s a safety concern. For adults, it’s about relationship. Conflicts cannot be solved if we don’t respect the other person. Don’t just allow the other person time to talk. Actually listen to their side—their fears, concerns, and opinions. Value their perspective and try to understand. Empathize.
9. Say You’re Sorry
After one child hurts another (or after they come out of time-out) the first thing they must do is apologize to the person they hurt—whether it was accidental or intentional. Not only does this make the guilty party take responsibility for their actions, it also helps to stop tears.
“I’m sorry,” heels injuries faster than time or band-aids ever thought possible.
As adults, we don’t apologize often enough. Either we are oblivious to the pain we cause, or we expect it to subside on its own. We avoid accountability. We could heal our relationships and fix our mistakes if we were humble enough to offer a genuine apology and admit our wrong doings. Say you’re sorry. Stop the tears.
10. Be Kind
All of the phrases I say can be summed up with “be kind.”
Give hugs. Speak softly. Share toys. Don’t fight. All of these rules would be followed naturally if we were considerate of other people.
If everyone was a little more gentle—a little more aware of their affect on others, a little sweeter spirited—our every day lives would be a brighter place.
Photo taken by the incredible Elizabeth Soto
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